C'est la vie~

this is it. some may rejoice. some may be sad. they said that we are in control of our lives. It is more like we're characters acting out Life. merely playing our roles and letting the circumstances control us. who says we are in control of life? if so, i could have achieved more. after going through so much, I give up hoping and accept the fact. determination and faith went bleak when responses are mild. so what's there to fight for now? happiness is afterall, cannot be fought to get.

friendship. i've found really good ones. "good" is a word too simple to describe. if not for their supports, i think i'll be shattered beyond imagination. the mosquitoes could have sucked me dry and dengue may send me to hell =) thanks friends! i've experienced the magic friends can do to me. putting on smiles and wiping off tears. thanks girls (and guys) for hearing my cries and grumbs. i think i would have exploded if not for u all.

i've also experienced the lethal effect of friends. i never knew they can be such great influence in life. I never knew that their presences are so significant that it can change one's character, perspective and choices. after 6 years of moulding the foundation, things still changed with the sudden appearance of them. it's amazing to think of it now. and i hope foolishness will catch up in years to come. the dual effect of friends still leave me stumble for words and disappointment at heart. love, afterall, is not as important as we both thought. friendship is. everything seems like a paradox suddenly.

what ever will be, will be. thats all i have to think for now. self-deceiving doesn't work anymore. so it's time to face reality. disappointed. cheated. hurt and jaded. so wad? they seem like nothing to some. others could be gloating aside. i still stand by the entry i made earlier. read and spread for all i care. and celebrate for success. celebrate for failure.

put forth the stress and torments. i have my family and friends to fall back on.